What is FreeDarko?

This is the answer:

Agent Zero, ignoring what the coach has to say in a timeout, runs onto the floor during the All-Star Game to join a line of Elvis impersonators dunking basketballs off of trampolines and executes a perfect between-the-legs slam before returning to the bench. This is not supposed to make sense. I'm sure the Youtube clip of this will be up in no time, so you can revel in your own slice of Gilbertology.

Of course, when considering what is FD, there's always this as first explained here on the third to last comment, although the link is now broken. Speaking of Young Thunder, he was horribly treated by the esteemed dunk contest panel. The "sticker dunk" was one of the better slams, both physicall and creatively, I've ever seen.

Not much new here. I received my film noir allowance for the month with Double Indemnity. Also watched Disc 1 of Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke. To call it sad doesn't even begin to explain it.

I have the day off for President's Day, although I am far from a president. But it will be nice to have a day off. Kat has to work, so I don't know what I'll do. Maybe sit at home and think about insects or birds or whales.

[Insert snarky title here]

Not a lot going on in my neck of the woods. My program to read progressively denser and less interesting law books is going swimmingly. I'm currently reading The Prosecutors, a real-life look into one year in the Sacramento County District Attorney's Office. It's far too much like fiction or true crime to serve my purposes, though. I need something like The Complete History of Evidence Inadmissibility Motions 1944-49 with Annotated Concordance. I don't think I'm quite ready for that, so give me some time. Recently, I have read Lawrence Friedman's short history of American law and skimmed Catherine Crier's book The Case Against Lawyers. Seeing so many examples of purported lawyerly misconduct was giving me second thoughts, but a few moments later I remembered the business I'm already in and decided I already have a lot of practice being loathed, so I might as well just keep going.

I've been enjoying the daily updates at Slate about the Scooter Libby trial. I have no idea how a journalist would write about the trial for people who had not been following it the whole time. It's more convoluted than Matrix: Revolutions at this point. But each day's post brings a couple interesting nuggets. I'll be sad when it's over.

Speaking of trials, Charlie Weis is currently involved in one over malpractice following his gastric bypass operation. Apparently he nearly died, although I wasn't really aware of that. If there are any doctors who read this blog and care to chime in down in the comments that will be allowed. Obviously, Weis underwent a risky surgery, but I don't know enough to diagnose (ha!) whether he should have ended up in a coma afterward. Still, the prospect of of Tom Brady on the witness stand is enteraining. I don't know if this is a jury trial or not (one of my next selections in the law book Bataan Death March is Medical Malpractice Cases in Massachusetts 1976-1982: Rulings and Outcomes), but if it is a jury trial, I think the plaintiff's attorneys would have been wise to stack the jury box with young Boston bachelorettes.

Valentine's Day: Don't believe the hype. It is a holiday made up by Corporate America to fatten us up so we'll need gastric bypass surgery, which may in fact kill us, rendering us unable to enjoy our malpractice suit windfall.

A certain professional basketball team has hit quite a rough patch. Since I was trumpeting them during the long winning streaks I should probably write a few words here during the dark moments to show my true support. But I don't have much to say beyond the fact that without Nash they just aren't very good. But in today's NBA, I don't know any team that could lose its best player and still expect to win even half their games. If the Mavs lost Dirk, they'd lose a lot of games, too. Same for the Spurs with Duncan and the Heat with Wade. I think these losses will show just how fallible the Suns are and how tenuous their success can be, but I don't think it will teach them things they don't already know.

What would Col. Nathan Jessup say?

As a member of the media, I read with displeasure the ridiculous story of Chicago Bulls rookie Tyrus Thomas being fined $10,000 for simply telling the truth when asked a question about his participation in the NBA's Slam Dunk Contest. I was also displeased as a human being, but I say as a member of the media because lots of journalists complain about how athletes never say anything interesting or refreshing. Well this is why. Thomas did tell the truth when a reporter asked a question, and the Bulls organization, one of the strictest (I'm trying to avoid that Internet-race to the bottom-message board-compare somebody to Hitler or dictatorships-thing I'm always reading about) there is, decided it would cost him $10,000 for his honesty. His apology, obviously forced by the team, is clearly a lie and his original answer was clearly the truth.
Were Thomas's comments very smart? No. He's making $3.26 million each year over the next two years, and probably doens't need the $16 grand he would get just for doing a couple of lame windmill dunks in Las Vegas. But what he said was the truth. Why those comments necessitated a fine is unclear to me. Thomas has a right to free speech, but his employer also has a right to garnish his wages if they feel he has committed an infraction. I'll let people who know more about the law decide whether he has any recourse to sue to reclaim his $10,000.
What I don't like is the precedent that players can be fined for something as simple as an honest answer to a question. This Bulls team is hard-nosed and plays together, but I sometimes wonder if the organization has gone a little bit too far. None of us has forgotten just how "gritty" and "gutty" Scotty Skiles is, but fining players for simply saying they like making money isn't the way to win a championship. It's the way to ensure no one wants to play for you. And it's the way to ensure that no reporter ever gets a juicy quote again.

Update: For basically the same opinion but in a form that is coherent, and, you know, readable, check out what Henry Abbott had to say at the always relevant True Hoop.

In other news, Kat and I have set up a wedding blog. I know, exciting, huh? It should have all kinds of information that could be helpful. It is located at katnjeff.blogspot.com. Enjoy in good health!