This blog is about three things I care about: books, basketball and the search for a third thing.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Suns and The Office















Following up on the comparison between Mike D'Antoni and David Brent: the members of the 2006 Phoenix Suns if they were the characters of the British version of The Office:

















Mike D'Antoni = David Brent
The architects, the leaders, the men whose vision makes their worlds what they are. Two men with facial hair, no peers and a genius for ignoring "The Rules."





















Steve Nash = Tim Canterbury
The conscience of their respective enterprises. Both are short white men with floppy hair who are known to make humorous facial expressions. They are the ones who with merely a look can make everyone else around them better.


























Shawn Marion = Gareth Keenan
More than able supporting stars. The Matrix's grumbles in the media about not getting enough respect clearly echo Britain's favorite former member of the Territorial Army. It's not hard to believe that Marion might tell some reporter in the locker room that he was the "assistant MVP," only to have Nash correct him and say "assistant to the MVP."

























Raja Bell = Dawn
Clearly the cattiest member of the Suns had to be a woman. By the same token, Bell has been the team's biggest and best surprise, just as Dawn is at the end of the series. Also, both have a searing hatred of Kobe.























Boris Diaw = Keith
At the beginning, you had no idea what to expect of these large men with strange accents. By the end, you knew whatever they would do next would be pure gold. The lingering question is this: is Diaw's biggest weakness a lack of tenacity around the goal or eczema?























Tim Thomas = Chris Finch
Rarely seen for much of the run but appearances at the end that generate excitement, and, in some ways, save everything. Also, both can be hateful, mean-spirited and annoying - unless they're on your side.























Leandro Barbosa = Ricky the temp
Young, likable, good looking and unpredictable. Also, quick to the hole in more ways than one.


























Eddie House = Donna
Always seems to be smoking hot but can disappear for long stretches at a time.






















Amare Stoudemire = Lee
Always hanging around nearby and you're never sure what they are thinking or where they are coming from. They could punch you, they could give you a hug. It's up to them.



















Kurt Thomas = Oggy
For ocular reasons only.



















James Jones = Joan, the cleaning lady
Similar sounding names. Always wandering around in the background with varying degrees of effectiveness. Do not have e-mail.

The method is unorthodox but of course it rocks

The people who will tolerate me (an ever-dwindling total) know my deep affection for all things The Office and Phoenix Suns. So, of course, the idea that these two things would meld was always freely floating, waiting to be made manifest. And today is that day.
During last night's loss to the Mavs, I was explaining to some Arizona-bred hardcore Suns fans that their zero-sum focus on result was blinding them to the beauty of the matchup as art or at least excellent diversion. I told them they should be "reveling in process," a turn of phrase for which I was loudly mocked. However, I'm right, obviously, since this is my blog.
And before I get into this, a knowing bow to Freedarko.com, the site that created the idea of making the NBA sound like a grad school thesis and does it better than any imitators, including moi.
Today's post explains how the Suns have left the mythology of the NBA and its orthodox constructs to just do what they do, win or lose, haters be damned. And this has worked. I agree wholeheartedly, and the question is what encapsulates this outside-the-box success. Some have said Moneyball, others have said Nash is a genius.
Threads on the WWW have compared D'Antoni to Popovich in power and guiding wisdom. Or to Tom Skerritt or even Hitler when enraged on the sideline. But none of these hit the mark. D'Antoni's true doppelganger is none other than the British paper industry's least gallant rogue, David Brent. Now scoffers may scoff, since Wernham-Hogg seemed to be a failure on every level as a company under Brent's tenure, but again, those making such quick, ill-considered claims are using result not process.
Quick trust exercise: Take these blind quotes from D'Antoni and Brent and try to pick which came from whom:


1. "We take input for everyone. We cover all the bases here and he's part of the team, another set of eyes."

2. "I don't live by 'The Rules' you know, and if there's one person who has influenced me in that way of thinking, someone who is a maverick, someone who does 'that' to the system then it's Ian Botham."

3. "You will never work in a place like this again. This is brilliant-fact. And you will never have another boss like me. Someone who's basically a chilled out entertainer."

4. “All we do is play to our players' strengths.”

5. "I just wanna go do it this way. If you like. If you don't... Team playing-I call it team individuality, it's a new, it's like a management style. Again guilty, unorthodox, sue me."

6. "Everything we talked about we did. That's why we won. Or, jeez, that's why we came close. I guess I'm in denial."

Maybe you got them, maybe you didn't. The point is that having a good time whilst at work and getting the job done is possible. The Suns do it every night, win or lose. And the credit must go to the man at the top, D'Antoni.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Pictures, Words, Spoken, Written





Some photos of me covering President Bush's visit to Yuma. The first one shows how close I was to the POTUS, but also how difficult it is to maintain a good hairstyle near Air Force One. The other two are of me interviewing Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano, the only commander in chief I was able to get for an interview since the President chose not to grant me the time.
Although C-SPAN had discussed a collabo with me but later backed out, I did do a radio interview for a show that is broadcast to America's military around the world.
And not only all that, but also I'm including - at no extra cost and prior to print - a column I've written for The Sun about the experience. Don't you (if you exist) feel important?

Go to the van!
My day in the presidential press pool

“Am I wasting my life?”
That was my thought as I was sitting in a van west of San Luis, Ariz., while President George W. Bush conducted interviews with the national television networks.
While I sat in that trusty blue van, known as Press 2, with an air conditioner that was doing the best it could but was no match for the Yuma heat, I pondered that question. This was an odd thing to be doing, considering I was covering one of the bigger stories in my short career in journalism. The most powerful man in the world decided to come to the city where I work and I would get to be amongst the reporters who traveled wherever he did during his stay.
At least that was the theory. In practice, it was more like this: watch as he descends from the plane, run to the van, ride in nearly the last SUV in a 20-vehicle caravan, run out of the van up to a dirt berm along the border west of San Luis and watch as the president talks to people although you can’t hear what is being said.
Then, after about five minutes, the White House media handler, whose job consists largely of telling journalists to go back to the van, tells you to go back to the van. Sit in the van. Sit in the van. Sit in the van. Bush conducts national media interviews, we sit in the van.
Then, as if like a bolt of lightning from an empty Yuma sky, the media handler appears slapping the doors of the van telling us “Let’s go now!”
Again, more running. Mind you, these are all adults running at top speed over dusty terrain all for the opportunity to see another adult ride around in a sand rail. Ah yes, journalism, a noble profession.
After this, the handler orders us back to the van for a ride to Border Patrol headquarters. We enter a room already bulging with press that feels somehow hotter than being outside. Bush speaks, we listen – and sweat. The handler says go back to the van.
We ride back to the air base to the waiting Air Force One. The traveling press members clamber onto the plane, Bush shakes hands with Marines, I try to grab quotes wherever I can since my extensive time with the President has yielded zilch thus far.
As if by Pavlovian impulse, I start running for the van, only this time it’s driving off without me to get out of the way for the plane. I realize the handler is nowhere to be found although “Go to the van” is running through my head like a Black Eyed Peas song.
With the engines revving up, White House officials high-tail it out of Yuma like they stole something. They’re heading back to Washington by the time Bush is actually supposed to start delivering his address.
As the plane arcs into the sky, I realize I don’t have to go anywhere. This event I had been looking forward to since I even considered getting into journalism is over. I can walk back to my car, drive to the office and try to write a story with what I gleaned from my three hours, not really with, but near the President.
On that drive home, I decided that I’m not wasting my life. One of the main reasons the job is fun is because it can be so different each day. Most days I walk and actually have a chance to interview people, that day I ran and didn’t get much to report. It is that unpredictability – not to mention constant possibilities for humorous moments – that makes it worthwhile.
But I did learn one piece of advice that I will pass on to anyone hoping to become the next Woodward or Bernstein: Go to the van.


A sampling of what was seen and heard while in the local press pool:

"Just have that prominently displayed, so you don't get jacked up."
— The White House media handler to a photographer about his press credential. The photographer apparently did not have the correct credential to be in the pool and there was concern.

"Do you know where he's going? You have to know where he's going. You can't have press two feet from him."
— One White House handler to another as Bush moves down the line of Border Patrol agents and the press moves down with him.

"Nice pits."
— Member of the press as Bush hops into the sand rail, showing that the Yuma heat has caused quite a bit of sweat in areas well known for doing so.

"That was his Dukakis in the tank moment."
— Many members of the press commenting on Bush's short trip on the sand rail.

"Did you see me on the dune buggy?"
— Bush to Border Patrol communications center agents who watch surveillance cameras.

"Good to see you all."
— Bush's response to questions from the media after his ride in the sand rail.

"It's good to be here in Yuma. I've never been to Yuma before. I'd like to come back."
— Bush opening his remarks.

"This should be for pool press only."
— A note written by a member of the press and handed to a White House handler while packed into the briefing room during Bush's address.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Staking Talk

We stand at Suns 2, Clippers 1. The other series (serieses?, serii?) continue as welll, but I continue to be drawn to this battle. It lost the cachet of having Kobe Bryant's evolving psyche played before the masses, but it has still been good basketball and quite a thinking man's series. Game 3, which could end up being extremely pivotal or ultimately meaningless depending on what happens next, was the kind of game one wouldn't expect the Suns to win. But considering it was their 92nd game of the season, they were probably due to win a game by 3 points or less.
That statistic has been tossed out repeatedly but without the necessary illumination that actually proves it rather unimportant. That illumination I deliver now. To wit: Yes, the Suns went an entire NBA season and a 7-game series and two more games before they defeated a team by three points or less. However, during that NBA season they had the third-best record in their conference, won that 7-game series and are up 2-1 in their current matchup. The idea that they had not won a "close" game is absurd, they won lots of tight games, but some of them they won by 5 or 10 or even 15.
Another stat people are constantly pointing out is that the Suns led the league in free throw percentage on the season and are leading the playoffs shooting more than 90 percent. Making free throws down the stretch, as they have, means you can take a one-possession game and turn it into an 8-point victory. I know because the Suns did it all year.
The Suns would make a big basket to go up three late in the game, opponent X would come down and get a deuce. Nash would get the ball on the inbounds, get fouled, make two from the line, X would come down and jack up a three, miss, rebound, outlet to Nash, he's fouled, he hits two more, repeat for as much time as necessary, game over - Suns win by more than three.
The number of games the Suns lost by 3 points or less was 7. Three times that was in overtime of differing lengths. I think they lost so many close ones because they stayed in a lot of games with their shooting and other teams do not shoot free throws as well as they do. This allowed the Suns to stay close, even if it meant they couldn't win in the end.
And as preamble, that brings me to a point that is long overdue: the Suns won by 3 or less Friday night because they weren't playing their game. Everyone has pointed out that they didn't score 100, Nash didn't play well, the Suns had to rely on defense, etc.
What does it mean? It means Phoenix stole a game on the road in which they didn't even play their style. It means they will come home for Game 5 at least even. It means the Clippers have to be concerned that too many of the last 3 or 4 games are going to be played at Suns' pace, not their own.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Words of caution

My loyal readers (I'm taking it on faith that they exist) may have felt I gave up on the Suns in the series with the Lakers. I didn't give up, but I was resigned to them not coming back. It's great that they did, which actually made my initial prediction correct.
But it seems that a lights-out Game 7 when absolutely everything that could go right did has led observers to write Phoenix into the Western Conference finals. However, I, for one, have plenty of fear of the Clippers. They can provide what the Lakers could not consistently - strong play down low. The Suns are still woefully small in the frontcourt and now they have to face Brand and Kaman. Plus, they have to deal with Mobley, Cassell, Shaun Livingston, Maggette off the bench and Radmanovic shooting threes. Where the Lakers were seen as Kobe and some other guys, the Clippers are a team.
My gut is telling me to take the Clippers, even though I'm well aware of their dismal history. I just don't know if those years of ineptitude mean anything to the players. I'm torn on this one. I guess I'll just have to watch to find out.
In the other series, I'm sure Mavs-Spurs will go to a six or seventh game. If Duncan plays like he did in Game 1, the Spurs will move on. As long as Detroit doesn't get bored or forget to show up at the games, they're moving on. I feel like the Heat will get past the Nets. I think Shaq still has one big series left in him.
What I'm reading: The Life and Many Deaths of Harry Houdini. It's a biography of the great illusionist that follows him from being just Ehrich Weiss to his long career of famous escapes. I did not know that when Houdini's family first came to America they lived in Appleton, WI, a city that I have been to a few times when visiting family in Cheese Country.
Blog-a-rhythm: The Strokes, First Impressions of Earth.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Disgrace under fire

If Phoenix had any chance of winning the series, Raja Bell lost it for them when he clotheslined Kobe Bryant in a game that was already decided. This idea that he shouldn't be suspended is ridiculous. He is going to be suspended - maybe more than one game.
I'm sure guarding Kobe is frustrating, but taking a swing at him is not the path to victory. Without Bell to guard No. 8, I don't think the Suns can win at Staples.
Not to act Sports Guy-esque, but I kind of predicted that this would happen. And with my excellent HTML skills, I will link to that prediction here. Because I can't code, you have to scroll down a little bit to find it. Needless to say, I went with sucker punch rather than clothesline, but, sadly, I was not far off.
We'll see what happens on Thursday. I don't expect to see Bell there, and by extension, I don't expect to see a Suns win.

Monday, May 01, 2006

May I culpa again?

My attempts at postseason prognosticating have not gone so well thus far. The Suns are down 3-1 with no apparent signs that they will be able to come back. Kobe Bryant is now universally loved and showing himself to be the true MVP, rather than Nash.
What I will say for my predictions is that I wrote the Suns dominate teams that are one-man shows or don't play solid defense. For most of this season, those two negative attributes were the Lakers stock in trade. But one way or another, the Zenmaster convinced Kobe to play team ball and the role players to play well enough to make Kobe stick to the game plan.
Everyone is praising Phil, as they always do, but really any sensible coach would have his team play the way the L.A. has if it was facing a jump-shooting team whose strongest inside presence is Tim Thomas.
No Amare this year has meant Phoenix just doesn't have what it takes to truly contend. They face an uncertain future because without him, they can be fun to watch but nothing more than a sideshow. With him, they can be champs - without him, they can't beat many teams in the West in a 7-game series.
I haven't given up on the Suns, but the odds are obviously long on a comeback. Even when the inevitable Lakers victory occurs, it sets up an exciting matchup with the Clippers, assuming they can take care of business with the Nuggest, that I'm dubbing the Smog Series. I like the weapons the Clippers have, but L.A. will be flush with confidence. The Final Four in the West, assuming the Spurs can get through, is enticing.
Maybe I'll return with some more predictions, or I might not. But keep watching, these playoffs are excellent.
What I'm reading: A Simple Plan by Scott Smith. This was made into a movie a few years ago. It's about unattractive people who find a lot of money in a crashed plane. It's pretty intriguing thus far.